`yijunn. Wednesday, April 11, 2007
grahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. warning: don't read on if you dont want to see a whole paragraph of shit.
i dont know why i am so sick of everything and tired and everything and i really think my life is so screwed up and i want to do something about it but i know i only have myself to blame for how it's turned out now and everything i dont know why i feel this way too but it's just this random feeling that gushed over me and i just started feeling angsty and grahhh and hating my life. i dont need anyone's concern i just need to vent it out. maybe it's pms grah or something along that line but i dontknow why sometimes i want to just chuck my life away and live someone elses' that seems to be going so much better. and now i'm worried about so many things which i really care about and hope to get and want so badly but i'm afraid they may just slip away. maybe you can say my life's going well already, but then i'll just say i admire you for expecting so much less. because i know the problem lies with me and my expectations and everything and insecurities and blah and i really want someone to hug and a shoulder to cry on and vent it all out but i dont know who i can go to without that person judging me and everything. i dont know la i think i just need to get past myself. dont worry about me though i think i'll manage out of it just fine in a while.
okay you know what. whatever. i'm just going to go do the stupid pw thing, then turn to hanakimi and laugh at ella's contorted expressions and occupy my mind with thoughts about how good-looking and hot wuzun is. and then sleep afterwards if i manage to.